am i already holding it?

have you ever found yourself striving for something that you want so badly? and then you pause for a moment and you realize what you are striving for, you already have...that's happening to me today...thankful, so thankful...

holding onto bread and wine = holding onto depravity and glory

Sunday was communion Sunday at church. My hubby the interim pastor talked about brokeness. Something was different this time, at least for me.

Usually in our tradition when receiving communion, we receive one element at a time. My ritual of communion, along with remembering Christ, usually involves some rhythm of confession and receiving pardon. When I receive the bread I hold it cupped in my hands. I remember Jesus's death, and I reflect only on my depravity, my sin, and my confession. Then, when I receive the wine, I hold it cupped in my hands. I remember Jesus' resurrection, and I accept pardon, receive God's forgiveness and wonder on His glory reflected in me.

This Sunday, was different. After receiving both elements, I looked down at my hands and I was holding both the bread and the wine in my cupped hands at the same time. Both my depravity and God's glory at the same time...just holding it there waiting to receive the invitation to take and eat, to take and drink. My brokeness and God's glory reflected in me...holding them both.

Here's a song I like...you can watch the video too...
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=47193189

Seeing through things

It's snowing this morning in Seattle. It's really quite easy for me to ignore. This morning my friend who is from the Northwest thought it novel to scrape snow from my car windows. After arriving home from a three hour Psychology class, I routinely opened my mini blinds and caught myself standing in our living room, staring at the snow. Have you ever seen snow through mini blinds? Well, It's really quite hard to ignore, in fact, it's magical. All this makes me wonder about seeing. Seeing through things...

Slowing Down and holding on

You notice a whole lot more when you slow down!

today ...i noticed that my hubby and I take the first two bites out of our toast in the same places...

facing beauty

Have you ever seen something so beautiful that when you see it, you turn your face away? That happened to me yesterday...

The mountains were out today!

My friend, Melinda, came to visit me last week for almost six days. The entire time she was in Seattle, the mountains were continuously hidden behind layers of clouds. Everyday, like most days, I looked to see if they were there.

One day when we visited Sunset Hill, one my favorite spots in Seattle, we could barely see a sillouhette of the moutains behind the clouds. If we weren't looking for it we would not have noticed. The mountains are becoming a reminder to me about life. I can't always see the beauty very clearly because it is hidden by the clouds, but each day I need to keep looking for it.

Well, guess what? Today...the mountains were there, or rather I could see that they were there! In fact, it was one of the most beautiful views of the mountains ever. Mt. Rainier was out too! My little self smiled real big and all the way home I couldn't stop turning around to see that they were still there!

Loneliness

Two weeks ago, I attended a service at Church of the Apostle. Their sister church, Beloved, was hosting the worship service. They shared a live performance of their newest CD music, Hope for a Tree Cut Down, interspersed with Henri Nouwen interviews about loneliness. For those of you who don't know Henri Nouwen, he is one of the most popular spiritual writers of our time. Henri Nouwen spent his life helping people respond to the universal “yearning for love, unity, and communion that doesn’t go away”. He tried to answer questions like: Is it possible to touch and taste the love of God? How can we live a spiritual life that embraces the pain and suffering of our lives and in the world, and gives us the freedom to love deeply wherever we are? His thoughts on loneliness shared in worship at COTA are helpful and inspiring to me. He has written two books that I want to check out, Beloved and Reaching Out. Today I'm trying to be honest both about my loneliness and my need for God. If you want to listen or download Beloved's music, go here: http://belovedschurch.org/hope/. Enjoy!